I love movies. I guess everyone knows that. I will watch almost anything. As a result of my movie addiction, I’ve seen more than my fair share of what most people would consider “bad” movies. You know, movies that are bashed by critics and mocked by the majority of the people who see them. I’ve seen a lot of movies like that. Most of them warrant the bad reviews, and some of them even deserve to be made fun of. I’ll bash them all day for having poorly written stories, bad acting, and/or bad directing. At the end of the day though, there is a number of those types of films that I just LOVE. That’s right, I love bad movies. You know you do too. Everyone has at least one. A movie that critics and audiences universally bash, but there just happens to be something about them that you can’t help but like. They are the movies that people love to hate, but you hate to love. At least, that’s what I call them. No longer will I keep my feelings to myself. Today, I will come clean and list my favorite bad movies. Before you ask, yes I have watched all of the movies on this list recently, over the course of the last 8 months. As for the movies, there are no genre restrictions, no date restrictions, no ratings restrictions. These movies are listed in no particular order. They are just “bad” movies that I love to watch. I present to you, my top ten films I hate to love:
Mystery Men(1999) Rated PG-13: Ben Stiller’s spoof of super heroes. It currently has a 64% rating at RottenTomatoes, with an average rating of 5.9/10. I loved this movie. A lot of people wrote it off as stupid and way too quirky, but I loved the characters, and the cast that played them, including bigger names like Ben Stiller and Hank Azaria, right next to less popular stars like Kel Mitchell and Paul “Pee-Wee” Reubens. Classic.
Freddy vs Jason(2003) Rated R: Two of the horror genre’s biggest names, Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees, together in the same film? Kick ass! This movie was so bad, RottenTomatoes didn’t even have a rating for it! IMDB has it listed with an average of 5.8/10. I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t like this one. It was full of classic cheesy lines and plenty of blood. And the showdown at the end of the movie between Freddy and Jason was excellent.
The Last Action Hero(1993) Rated PG-13: Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as Jack Slater, famous film action hero who must help a boy that went to see his favorite action star on the big screen, only to end up joining him on screen. IMDB has it rated with a 5.8/10. People bashed this film because they just took it too seriously. This wasn’t intended to be a classic Arnold action film. It’s a spoof of the genre, and boy do I love spoofs!
Super Mario Brothers(1993) Rated PG: Classic Nintendo heroes Mario and Luigi make their first and only big screen appearance to date. This movie actually sits at 6% on RottenTomatoes, with an average rating of 2.9/10! I get it. It was cheesy, it was only “loosly” based on the video game franchise at best, and the acting was terrible. But I don’t care about all that! There was something charming about it. It was fun. All the things that people bashed this film for are legit, and very funny. It certainly wasn’t intended to be a comedy, though it had some comedic moments. I laughed the whole way through, and after all these years, I still remember it exactly as I did when I first saw it.
Mars Attacks(1996) Rated PG-13: An all star cast come together for the movie adaptation of the vintage bubble-gum collector’s cards. It sits at 46% on RottenTomatoes with an average rating of 5.6/10. Now, I was exposed to the collector’s cards before I ever saw the movie, so I may have been a little biased, but I loved every second of this one. It truly featured a massive cast of A & B list talent, and every single one of them turned in a memorable performance. It was incredibly cheesy, and that probably turned a lot of people off, but as I’ve said before, I love me some cheese! This movie was hilarious. One of the best movies in my DVD collection.
Evolution(2001) Rated PG-13: David Duchovny, Julianne Moore and Orlando “7-Up guy” Jones in a sci-fi comedy about an alien orgasm that has been evolving rapidly since arriving on Earth on a fallen meteor. It has a 41% on RottenTomatoes with an average of 4.9/10. I still don’t know why Julianne Moore decided to star in this goofy comedy. Maybe she needed money? This was a ridiculous goofball film that wanted to be serious, and a lot of people faulted it for that. But I won’t. Plus, it featured the 7-Up guy after he thought he was famous enough to quit commercials and start starring in Hollywood. On an unrelated note, I hear he’s returned to 7-Up.
Sgt. Bilko(1996) Rated PG: Steve Martin stars in a film adaptation of the classic 50’s tv series. It has a 32% on RottenTomatoes with an average of 4.4/10. This movie was classic Steve Martin. As far as I’m concerned, he’s earned a lot of slack when it comes to rating his films, but that certainly doesn’t come into play for me on this one. The movie was laugh out loud funny. I still watch this movie at least twice a year. With Steve Martin AND Dan Ackroyd at the top of their game, you just can’t go wrong, no matter what the “critics” say!
Event Horizon(1997) Rated R: A rescue crew investigates a spaceship that disappeared into a black hole and has now returned…with someone or something new on-board. It sits at 23% on RottenTomatoes with an average rating of 4.5/10. This movie screwed with my head big time. It was a total mind trip. I just loved it! This movie didn’t exactly have a great story or character development, but it scored big in the creepy score and intense atmosphere. This movie literally gave me chills. Plus, it had all the charm of a “B movie.” How can you go wrong? Kinda hard to believe this was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
The Hot Chick (2002) Rated PG-13: Rob Schneider plays a mean teenage girl who accidentally switched bodies with an older man. It has a 22% on RottenTomatoes with an average of 3.8/10. Can’t have a bad movie list without Rob Schneider involved. I stand by my assertion that he is a very talented comedic character actor and over-all funny guy. This movie offered nothing new, with a weak premise and a stale story. Still, it was charming enough to have my attention during the whole thing. I laughed, maybe not for the reasons they wanted for people to be laughing at, but still laughed through the whole thing. Rob Schneider as a snotty and mean teenage girl was hilariously creepy!
The Stupids (1996) Rated PG: An incredibly dull-witted family unknowingly stumble upon an illegal weapons deal while on the trail of their “stolen” garbage. This one sits at 23% on RottenTomatoes with an average of 3.3/10. Tom freaking Arnold! What can I say? The guy plays one hell of an idiot! This movie had the dumbest plot EVER and some of the most horrific acting I’ve ever seen. However, I loved every retarded second of this one. I just couldn’t believe they actually did what they were doing. The whole movie felt unreal, like someone would come in the theater and say “Gotcha! You’re on Candid Camera!” or something like that. But I enjoyed it nonetheless. I think I was the only one who actually finished the film with a smile on their face. The movie was a mess, but it was a beautiful one. Like those paintings you see hanging in art galleries where you don’t know what the hell they are supposed to be, but everyone is drawn to it and can’t help but love it? The Stupids was that kind of movie. And parents can watch it with their kids! They’ll all laugh at how dumb the family is, and so will you! Don’t lie to yourself, you know you want to!
So, I hope my admissions here have given all of you the strength and courage to admit to the world that you too love stupid, lame, boring or bad movies. It’s okay! Everyone has one, and if they say they don’t, well then they are probably lying! These may not be well received by critics or even middle America, but I love the just the same. They are all featured entries in my DVD collection, and I’ll still pop them in from time to time if I need a cheap laugh. I’m sure that some of the movies here are absolutely hated by some of you, just as I’m sure I hate some of your favorite movies. It’s all subjective; whatever makes you laugh or whatever makes you smile, that’s what makes a good movie. They all have a place in the world, all with their own set of fans and their own set of haters. Just don’t let the “opinion” of the so called “critics” be the only reason you watch or don’t watch a movie. It’s all subjective!