I woke up this morning eager and excited to scour the web for anything even remotely interesting to share with everyone. I feel like it’s been a pretty lame week movie wise. No real good movies playing in theaters and no big news breaking, so I’m getting a little desperate for a good story. When I found this interesting story, I decided I just had to share it with the world. But it can’t possibly be real movie news. It has to be some sort of April fools day prank. I refuse to believe it’s real. Here’s the skinny on one of the funniest ideas I’ve ever heard:
“When an alien crash lands and begins to butcher the mannered protags they suddenly have more than marriage and inheritance to worry about.”
Announced by Variety earlier today, the project will begin as a traditional period piece costumed drama, but will shockingly begin spiralling into darkness when an alien crash lands and begins to brutally slash and skin it’s uptight victims, the afore-mentioned “mannered protags.” The working title is Pride and Predator. The visionary that is producing this brilliant idea is none other than the flamboyant pop icon Elton John, through his Rocket Productions company. He will also be providing the soundtrack. Will Clark supposedly will direct, and his partner David Furnish will also produce. He said, and I quote: “It felt like a fresh and funny way to blow apart the done-to-death Jane Austen genre by literally dropping this alien into the middle of a costume drama, where he stalks and slashes to horrific effect.”
I refuse to believe that someone is honestly trying to make this movie. Aside from the fact that this sounds completely ridiculous, there is a real issue facing Sir Elton John in regards to making this movie. Will FOX allow him to use the Predator character in a film set in this era, with these romantic over-tones? I guess since they allowed the stinkfest Alien vs Predator to be made, and then allowed the slightly less stinky Aliens vs Predator: Requiem to be made, then they mights just allow the Predator to be featured in this film. They obviously don’t care about the character, and if you pay them enough, I’d bet they’d allow you to use the Predator in ANY film. Even porn.
Whether or not this is real, I’ll still address the “film” itself. A Predator crashing onto Earth in Renaissance times decides to turn his attention to a group of prissy young lovers and their families, killing more than just time as he waits for a rescue craft to come and take him back to the Predator homeworld… WOW! That sounds like a movie the sci-fi channel might make if they were ever allowed to use the likeness of the character. I can just see it now:
“A Predator hiding in a willow tree adjacent to a small lake or pond, where flowers grow all over. Beautiful flowers, and long green blades of grass growing, leading all the way up to the water’s edge, where lilly pads adorn the shallowest parts of the water. Birds are chirping, and you can hear the crickets playing their beautiful, serene song. Two young lovers run through the fields heading towards the beautiful willow tree, where they go to enjoy the beauty of nature and make love together, as young lovers do. They stop to pick flowers, and the woman even extends her arm out to let birds fly low and land on it, so that she may talk to them… And then the Predator drops down from the tree in full on cloak mode to slice off her extended arm. She screams as blood spouts from her stump and her young lover desperately searches the fields for her attacker. He tries to run closer to her but he is impaled on the Predator’s staff. The young woman screams again and tries to run, but she slips on the grass, as it is now wet with her own blood. The Predator picks her up to look her in her young and innocent eyes one last time before he shoves his wrist blades through her skull from under her chin and all the way through the top of her head. He then kneels down to begin to skin his victims, taking the skull of the male while leaving the female “in tact.” As the Predator slowly skins it’s victims, it looks out across the landscape from time to time. Even though he is a savage hunter, he begins to see the beauty of the place. Before he goes on to find new victims, he pauses one last time. He notices the irony that this beautiful place could be the setting for such savagery. He laughs to himself as he begins the hunt again…”
On second thought, I may just be interested in seeing this. Sadly, there is no release date to circle on our calendars. But if I were you, I’d look into this project again sometime immediately after the 1st of April.