The original print of Debbie Does Dallas was stolen this morning from the warehouse where it was kept in Canada. Local authorities say no trace evidence has been found at this time but they are very optimistic that they will catch the culprit. A fortune telling gypsy has been brought in to tell the future and make predictions to the whereabouts of the movie print. No luck yet but the gypsy will be working for the next few days in junction with the mounted police sketch artist to identify the thief. The Academy of Nude Films of Times Past (ANFTP) is offering a reward for information leading to the arrest of the cat-burglar, and the chairman of ANFTP says they will not sleep until that print is back in its rightful place in the warehouse.
-Eyewitness Fake Movie News Reporter, Bearacid
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