Outlander Poster
Cast: Janes Caviezel, John Hurt, Ron Perlman, and Sophia Myles
Writer/Director: Howard McCain
Released: 2009
Run Time: 115 Min.
Rated: R
Originally meant to Direct: Renny Harlin
And so it was written, Jesus becomes a spacefaring soldier from a planet far, far away. Outlander’s first trailer boasts the basic pitch for this film, ALIENS, VIKINGS, SPACESHIPS and OH MY what a delicious stew of spicy ingredients!
This film is written by Howard McCain and Dirk Blackman, sound familiar? No? Well I don’t blame you, why should it? They’ve practically done nothing. Oh but wait, actually, they’ll be writing a small little film by the name Conan!
Right, so bare that in mind when I give you this review of Outlander.
The year is 709 A.D, the name of the place is… NORWAY. Yes, Norway. Our Alien friend or as he’ll later be referred to as Outlander, is actually called Kainan from another world, but I personally like to call him Jesus, crash lands on planet earth. This amazing character is played by none other than James Caviezel, the man who gave us Bloody Jesus.
The first five minutes of this film is where the writers and Director, who is the also the writer Howard McCain, feels confident enough to slap you in the face with the first anomaly of this film. He doesn’t take much time to establish the world, time or where our hero comes from. We see Kainan, drag his dead co-pilot out of the lake, sets up a homing beacon. Here is where the reality of this story becomes a little hard to swallow. It’s about four minutes into the film, where Kainan asks the computer in his Alien language a series of questions and the computer replies. Alright, it’s been established after one minute and eighteen seconds into the film that we’re in Norway. The funny thing is that when Kainan and the computer start to have a conversation they are actually speaking Norwegian with an eastern European accent or as they say it Old Norse. I’m so, not kidding you here. Silly as it was, I kept on watching, thinking that somehow this will all be explained, how else was it possible for me to understand what they were saying? Sad to say, that NEVER gets explained, so it was just used for effect and the off chance that most people will think it sounded alien enough to ignore it’s derivation. The computer then ejects an eye machine of sorts that will upload ALL that Kainan needs to know about planet earth, from languages, different sizes of pigs (don’t ask, I’ve been wondering about that my self) and location. Strangely enough the first word that comes of our hero’s mouth isn’t Norwegian which is where he is, but English. Ok, I know, for the purpose of cinema and saving 4 dollars on making subtitles for the film, they used English as the main language spoken in Norway. But the very first word he says in English is “FUCK”, is a bit of an unintelligent outburst from an advanced race.
Alright so after all of this the story begins to go down hill. Onboard Kainan’s ship was a captured beast from another world. The beast will become the Dragon in this movie. Within ten minutes of the film’ Kainan is captured by a group of Vikings and dragged to the nearest village. He befriends a few after he proves him self and then later goes on a quest to find the dragon or alien monster he captured before he crashed on earth. To aid him we have a wonderful woman called Freya, played by an actress called Sophia Myles. Sophia to my surprise was actually the most convincing character in this film and she played well. Her father the King was the legendary John Hurt. To boost the films value somehow Ron Perlman showed up and as suddenly as he appeared he also vanished without a trace. The rest of the cast has some very annoying, stereotypes and none of them look like real Vikings. In fact
this movie suffered from an identity crises, because it thought it was Lord of the Rings, meets Predator, meets Starman, meets every cliché you can think of.
The film has a few good points, the back story on this Dragon/Alien as well as its design, Sophia Myles and the premise. But poor execution of the story and some very odd moments in this film, simply catapulted into the circus arena and it wasn’t even entertaining at the end of the film as too many plot holes kept creeping up like an old cheese. This film was sold with one line on the poster “FROM THE PRODUCER OF LORD OF THE RINGS, Berrie M. Osborne.”
OUTLANDER was probably a good pitch, maybe even a good treatment, but at the end of the day, it’s a horrible film with poor acting, meaningless scenes, too many plot holes and annoying resolutions.
This film would clearly have been better as a video game, but sadly someone went the other way and made a movie. This film proves that bad directors can make good actors look like fools on screen. See it if you like movies such as Alien Predator… mmm, no not Alien AND Predator, but the other one Alien Predator 1987 by Deran Sarafian. And Stay FAR away if you value such movies as Alien and Predator.
Trivia : Hoard McCain pitched the idea some time ago but wasn’t picked up till last year. His aim was to use Old Norse which is the ancestor of Modern Icelandic and several other Scandinavian languages. (Too bad he didn’t care to explain why an Alien race speaks this language). He went so far as to get a professor to help translate the dialogue to teach the Actors. To my recollection it was only James and the computer who actually spoke this language.
Finally the film was shot in New Foundland.
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February 8, 2009
#1
Damn I was hoping this would be a great film, what’s with wasting Perlman’s time?
I think I’m going to check this out on dvd , once it comes down to bargin bin prices…
February 8, 2009
#2
Yeah, I’m not saying I don’t trust you Ergo, but I just have to see for myself. I saw so much potential in this premise. “Pathfinder” meets “Predator.” That could’ve worked so well. I’ll watch it when I can find it, ahem… somewhere for free…
February 9, 2009
#3
If I was a captain and I had to lead my men AWAY from danger… judging from the outcome of my review, I’d be a lousy leader… my men would be “Sir, I know you said it’s dangerous over yonder, buuuut… I JUST GOTTA SEE.. SIR!”
;)
Still, I don’t blame you… it’s a combination that you’d otherwise assume would work under the most trying of scripts and directors and actors… but, it doesn’t.
Somehow this film, tries so hard to do what every other movie has done before it, only fail to the point it’s laughable.
Yes, if you can get it for less than five bucks grab it. The only good things are the few points I mentioned. But the story it’s self could have been so much better and with the cast, it should have been. It’s just too weak and amateur in most places. Moments that just don’t work and hero shots that are just too silly.
For instance there’s ONE scene when our Hero Kainan, decides to become like the others (has no choice) dresses up like them and enters the hall… I tell ya.. right there… he looked like someone said to a 4 year old… see all those boxes, torn fabric and random junk? GO make your self look like a stoomtrooper. Cute on a 4 year old… a DISASTER on an adult.
:)
February 9, 2009
#4
Oh by the way if you’re wondering why this film is rated R… let me tell ya… it’s for RETARDED…. ;)
February 9, 2009
#5
I read your review Ergo. Very entertaining. You have a good wit about you. I had no idea the computer and Kainan were “speaking Norwegian with an eastern European accent or as they say it Old Norse.” I thought they were just made up words. That is both cool and unfortunate. Cool in that they actually used Norwegian unfortunate that the whole movie was not spoken in it. However, if Braveheart was spoken in Gaelic, American audiences might not have connected with the film as well as they did. So you can see why the choice was made to speak English throughout the film.
“But the very first word he says in English is “FUCK”, is a bit of an unintelligent outburst from an advanced race.” Absolutely correct but “fuck” is one of the first words that springs to mind when someone is in pain.
I thought Freya was one of the best parts of Outlander as well but that outfit she is wearing at the beginning of the film is…questionable, especially since her adversary is fully clothed.
Outlander never thought it was Lord of the Rings, Predator or Starman. Narnia thought it was like LOTR, The Golden Compass but not Outlander. Predator? Come on now, no film is Predator. Alien vs. Predator 9 will be more like Predator than this film. I can see why Starman came to mind but the alien in Outlander and the former film have divergent reasons for being on Earth.
The film also had a better score than I thought it would have as well and the final confrontation was very entertaining.
Here is my Outlander Review: http://film-book.com/review-outlander/
February 9, 2009
#6
And the film is Rated R for gory violence.
February 9, 2009
#7
I had forgotten about this film M4N talked about it a while back and then it pretty much left our minds. At the time, I thought it looked very original and I had high hopes because of the cast. It’s too bad that it turned out laughable.
What a great concept to run with though. I would have love to seen this film with a revised script, I still think it would have had potential to be a kick’n sci-fi action romp…
February 9, 2009
#8
Well Ergo, I honestly believe that you are right and the film is terrible. But personally, sometimes I like the terrible movies. Sometimes, when they are so bad it’s funny, I can get almost as much enjoyment out of it as I could from a good movie. Rarely have I ever watched a movie and said, “There’s two hours of my life that I will never get back.” In fact, I can only think of 3 movies that I actually watched, and then said that it was a complete waste of my time.
1. Battlefield Earth
2. Bubble Boy
3. Corky Romano
Unless I’m missing something, every other movie I’ve watched had something interesting in it, for me at least.
February 9, 2009
#9
@JD and Jon. Outlander is not terrible at all. It’s entertaining. I’ll take Outlander over Transformers any day.
February 9, 2009
#10
Film-Book dot Com,
I had a whole other reply to your original message… giving you the countless reasons why this movie fails on so many levels for me. But then I realized that I was just saying all the things I already hate about this film in a more passionate way and it then hit me… this film was so annoying, so poorly written and suffered from such horrible flaws that it simply wasn’t worth my time to go through it again. It was hard enough to sit through this film, thinking, “THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER”.
However I read your review of Outlander and it is very good, I commend you on that. However you prove a very important point here. Like I say in my review, there will be people who will like this film and people who won’t. You showed your enthusiasm and enjoyment for this film when you gave it 8.5 out of 10 which in my honest opinion is insanely high for a film like this, but I respect you for that never the less. :)
Outlander is for me like ALIEN PREDATOR is for those who like ALIEN and Predator… a hopelessly flawed production.
I know people can understand what I mean by saying it tried so hard to be Lord of the Rings, because I’m focusing on the scenes they used, the way they built the village, the costumes, the people. If you know anything about real Vikings you’d know they NEVER looked anything like that. Which is forgiven only because we have a story about a spaceman who drops from the sky and is so easily accepted into the village or kingdom as it is in this film. But overall, this as you say in your original review, it has Freya being a little to much like Eowyn for me in this film. Because I like the actress I forgive even that. What I cannot forgive in this film is the poorly written story, with the horrible directing making some of these actors seem like B-Movie actors. Also I cannot forgive this film for not being able to be well crafted enough to bring out the real story about Kainan long before we have to see those poor green screen shots of him on his home world. Because as you say, it’s really interesting to see his home world, the Moorwen’s home world and how it all happened. But for some reason it just is so badly edited, it should have come BEFORE everything else and not in random flash backs. And this kid Erik? Oy!! That’s a bit too much… Ok ok ok, I don’t want to take anymore jabs at it.. and here’s why.
I agree with Jon, there are films that are SO bad that they can still be entertaining. I actually agree with him on his list! :D
But then there are films that are so bad, that while you’re watching your brain is trying to make up an alternate story to make it more appealing because it’s just not working. For me, this film falls into that category. It could have been a major deal, a big and exciting film that could even have given us a sequel. But ladies and gentlemen, this film feels in more ways than one, like a Playstastion 3 game. In fact it would have served better as a game concept than a movie.
It is really good to hear your review Film-Book dot Com, because it’s seen from a person who really liked this film. It’s good to have a contrast between us. Me? I really didn’t find it very good. I loved the ALIEN in it, Sophia and the backstory seemed much more interesting, but the reality based in the movies world was just so poorly constructed.
If I have to give it a number out of 10. I’d give it 3 out of 10. One for Sophia, one for the Moorwen and one for the idea.
My advice to people who are interested in seeing this film, is this : IF you want to see it, see it, don’t waste money on it, rent it or buy it dirt cheap.
PS. Film-Book dot Com, Your poster for this film kicks ass.. way better than the one I found… but somehow I think mine fits the view I have of this film… ;)
Thanks for your comments and I look forward to your next comments on my new review soon up which will be about a film I actually LIKED. :D
Take care guys and enjoy movies… To those who’s special ladies are awaiting something nice for Valentines day… make them feel special, I’m sure they’ll repay you twice fold! ;p
February 10, 2009
#11
Damn those plastic weapons!
February 11, 2009
#12
@Ergo. I have seen a lot of crappy sci-fi films. Outlander is not one of them. It is flawed, it could have been better but it could have been 20 times worse.
“However I read your review of Outlander and it is very good, I commend you on that.” Thank you.
“You showed your enthusiasm and enjoyment for this film when you gave it 8.5 out of 10 which in my honest opinion is insanely high for a film like this, but I respect you for that never the less.” My rating may or may not be a tad to high. What can I say, I liked the score, the action and the ending in the cave and on the watefall.
“If you know anything about real Vikings you’d know they NEVER looked anything like that.”
I never studied viking history so I wouldn’t know.
“And this kid Erik? Oy!! That’s a bit too much… Ok ok ok, I don’t want to take anymore jabs at it.. and here’s why.”
Yeah, I know. Kainan getting back what he lost. Weak but I have seen this same weakness in other films.
“But then there are films that are so bad, that while you’re watching your brain is trying to make up an alternate story to make it more appealing because it’s just not working.”
That’s what happened when I watched Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (http://film-book.com/alien-vs-predator-requiem/) and the last third act of Spiderman 3(http://film-book.com/review-spiderman-3/). I actually wrote alternate scenes into my reviews. I couldn’t help. It made the reviews longer and better.
“It is really good to hear your review Film-Book dot Com, because it’s seen from a person who really liked this film. It’s good to have a contrast between us.”
I feel the same way.
“PS. Film-Book dot Com, Your poster for this film kicks ass.. way better than the one I found… but somehow I think mine fits the view I have of this film… ;)”
Lol.
“Thanks for your comments and I look forward to your next comments on my new review soon up which will be about a film I actually LIKED. :D”
No problem. I look forward to your comments on my next review, which comes this Sunday. :)
@790. In Outlander they are made out of metal.
February 11, 2009
#13
You know i saw the trailer for this sometime ago, and I remeber thinking, Man that looks so awesomely Cool! Can’t wait to see it. And then it drifted out of my brain into the oblivion of forgotten thoughts.
Now I read the review and the plot line and relize how dumb this movie sounds, The Trailer was lying to me. So much potential wasted and flushed down the Crapper. We can look forward 10-15 years from now for the remake to hit theatres and maybe then they might get right.
February 11, 2009
#14
Why wait 10-15 years to remake it?!? It’ll get done in 5.
February 12, 2009
#15
@Metallicat79. It’s very strange to see somebody except a single person’s opinion on a subject as gospel.
February 12, 2009
#16
Film-Book dot Com,
I think the same can be applied to your review. If someone goes to see a film based on your review just because you give it nearly 10 out of 10, can one not conclude the same statement as yours would apply to your own opinion?
Here’s the thing… I know 790, I know Metallicat79 and Jon etc. I know what they like, from the comments and reviews they make. Based on that, I connect the dots, evaluate if it’s something worth seeing or not because I know what I like and it often resonates with what they like.
Personally if I went out and bought this film based on your review, and don’t get me wrong it’s a great review and I totally respect your point of view, I would however be quite upset because it really doesn’t meet the standards I have for such a film.
But I certainly don’t say to people that my words are law and thus must be taken as such, people form their own opinions, agree or disagree based on the knowledge they have an simple instinct for knowing what is good and what is bad according to their own tastes.
I’ve watched movies people recommended here and I’ve been less than excited about it once I’ve seen it. But it’s what happens on a review site, it’s quite normal that there are hits and then there are misses from each reviewer. We say what we think and feel about a film and share it. But down the line the key point in staying in a good and friendly environment is to enjoy each others opinions, respect each other and have fun.
I understand that you really enjoyed this film and that’s great, it means that it’s achieved it’s point and that’s brilliant. And we do come from different backgrounds, I work in films and I cannot help but be more analytical and picky about the structure, “could have beens and should have beens” in a movie sold and marketed the way OUTLANDER has.
If someone writes a positive review of a film I don’t like, I won’t go and say you shouldn’t take his word for it. And if someone says Transformers is crap… well, I wouldn’t really mind either, but for me, that movie has nostalgic values and while it may not be Batman : Dark Knight or any of the major films I enjoyed over the past few years, I certainly wouldn’t force the issue onto people who agree with the original reviewer.
In fact one of my good buddies, 790, simply HAAaaates some of the films I love… he’s damn near allergic to them… ;p and you know, we still are able to meet down the middle and enjoy a great talk and share some great points on the films we both like.
Metallicat79, you know my comments on this site, my filmmaking background, I might be more critical than others when it comes to movies, but I base my values on the history of the genres of film out there and my own preferences. If someone agrees, that’s great if others don’t, it’s all good.
I suggest if you HAPPEN to stumble upon it and you want to kill or maybe murder a couple of hours… AND Outlander just so happens to rest on your table… grab it, order a pizza, open a can of whatever you like to share your pizza with (must be worthy though ;) and slap that disc into the tray and either have a laugh, or be on the edge of your seat. Whichever works best for you… all that matters is that even a bad movie can be enjoyed under the right circumstances… ;)
There’s always room for those.
My next review WILL have a piece on the viewing value of the film. :)
For the rest of you guys and gals (if we have any)… enjoy your day and enjoy the films you watch… even the bad ones teach us something, or at least entertain us in some fashion. ;)
February 12, 2009
#17
@Film Book
I do not quite get where you were going with what you said, i really do not think it was called for (IMO). Allow me to shed some light here for you:
How do you know that i have not gone out an reaearched the storyline and reviews?? Yeah I stated that I read the review, a simple typos, i neglected the s on the end, My comments are always full of typos (which i am trying to get better on guys, sorry). I have gone out and read other reviews and read other plot synopsis for Outlander and a lot of the ones i did read were of the same opinion and told me the same thing. I just so happen to value what the writers here say, i value their opinions, I may not agree with what they say sometimes, and i do my best to let them know, but if push comes to shove, i find that they have a different outlook and typically unbiased reviews. So with all due respect Film Book, do not try and throw me under the bus and call me out because i happen to disagree with you on one film. I think its a shame that you think of me as some sort of sheep or bow down to the Movieguys, you obviosly do not read all my comments that i make, there are other films that I disagree with. I really do not belive I have to justify anything I say or do to you. But I do it because, perhaps you can understand my POV.
February 12, 2009
#18
@Film Book
My Apologies, if i have come across as offensive, or rude, I like your comments and enjoy reading your reviews on your sight but it really annoys me when people call me something I clearly am not.
@Ergo
Thanks for the back up, it is appreciated and if i ever meet ou, whatever ou drink will be on me.
February 12, 2009
#19
@jon
In 5 years you say?? Should we place bets?? I’ll say 7 years for good measure, how about you??
Loser Buys a round of drinks for All the Movie Guys and The Winner and Diner for the winner, any takers?
February 12, 2009
#20
@ Metallicat79,
You awesome Metallic Cyborg Cat.. don’t worry about your spelling, we don’t notice and we do we poke to you in fun cause we like you man. You’re awesome and every comment you write is welcomed and respected. Don’t say you’re sorry for your spelling, or if you were passionate one moment… it’s all good here… you’re one of the guys…
As for what I drink? Hmm… well… I’d tell ya but that might spin into a whole different conversation about “WHAT? HOW? WHY???!!!!”
It starts with a C and ends with DRY… :p
Take it easy folks, enjoy your selves and remember for those of you with ladies… You best be investing in that special day for them… cause Valentines is here and the payoff will be well worth it so go get her that special something…
Have fun and stay cool!
February 12, 2009
#21
@Ergo
If you drink what i am think you drink, have you tried the Rasberry flavored concoction? Pretty darn good if ou ask me.
February 12, 2009
#22
Rasberry flavored concoction?!?!?!?
Sounds like BLACK MAGIC to me!!!!
;p
February 12, 2009
#23
Oh, But its sooo Good!!
February 12, 2009
#24
Well then, it settles it!
That’s what you’ll get me and I’ll bring something to you as well.. ;)
Take it easy and enjoy your day!
February 12, 2009
#25
Here are my thoughts on reviews:
We all have different opinions, clearly. We are not going to write a positive review for a film we do not enjoy. Does that mean that just because we say it sucks, that no one should ever see it? No. I’ve always said that when someone is really on the fence about a movie, and they don’t want to pay to rent it unless they know it’ll be worth their time, I suggest that they read more than 1 review. Or, find a review by a reviewer that you tend to agree with. Read whatever you decided on, then use the information given in the reviews you’ve read, and ask yourself if you would enjoy something like that. Don’t just skip on a film because I wrote that it sucks. Pay close attention to the parts that discuss the FACTS about the movie (what happened, why it happened, locale info, sights/sounds whatever) then use that to make up your own mind.
Hopefully, we can all just be cool with each other regardless of opinions. 790 hates Seth Rogen and his movies, I love the guys films. I’m not mad about that, I still consider him a friend.
Man, I missed the liquor conversation. Can I just get a Jack n Coke?
February 13, 2009
#26
“In Outlander they are made out of metal.”
Ah I like that,,,FilmBook!!!
I’m going to have to see this for myself, Ergo and I disagre enough that I might like this…lol.
I mean we get into it all the time over crap like Wall•E, witch he loves and I hate, and then there’s other films that I can’t remember right now, cause I’m having some drinks at the end of my long ass day, trying to deal with all the retarded ppl that are thrown at me at a daily basis,,, :/
Did I mention I work in showbiz,,,??? (Full of hacks)
February 14, 2009
#27
I liked Wall-e, but I really hated the in your face message, it realy annoyed me, i want to get through the movie with out being told that i am need to be green every 5 seconds. If it was not for the Presto short, Wall-E would have been even less amusing. Wall-E took itself way to seriously. Thats one of the reasons I enjoyed Kung Fu Panada, it never took itself too serious, and it gave you its message in a more subtle tone.
@Jon
If we ever meet, a Jack-N-Coke it is.